


O Tannengroot

by meh_guh



Category: Marvel
Genre: Christmas, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 04:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meh_guh/pseuds/meh_guh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Groot quite likes Earthers and their quirks. Rocket just wants to get drunk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	O Tannengroot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Makairia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makairia/gifts).



> Merry Grootmas, dude! I tried to write porn, but you'll have to make do with fluff ;P

‘Y’know, Quill,’ Rocket bawled into the comms as he dived out of the way of a humanoid robot wearing a cape that was trailing flames and bleating something about doom. ‘I get you wantin’ to come home, even if your planet has to be such a dump-‘

‘I am Groot,’ Groot put in, striding past on the street below.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Rocket aimed and blew the head off another of the cape-bots. ‘Like he says, home’s home, but didja gotta choose the middle of some crazy winter festival? It’s hard enough dodging idiot civilians at the best of times, and those songs are givin’ me a headache!’

‘ _JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS_ -‘ One of the Earthers started singing over the shared comm line, but Rocket’s ears were saved by the one in the candy colours with the shield hurling said shield right past the singer’s face. ‘Aw, c’mon Cap!’

‘Stow it, Hawkeye,’ Cap replied, catching his shield and turning to punch one of the ground-based capebots in the face. Rocket _liked_ that Earther.

‘I am _Groot_ ,’ Groot muttered, and of _course_ the great big lug liked the caterwauling. Rocket shook his head and engaged his thrusters to chase down one of the capebots that had found some idiot civilians staring up at the fight instead of hiding.

He’d never say it, of course, but Rocket was almost impressed with the Earther team they’d buddied up with; they ran a tight fight and there was hardly any damage to the buildings even after an hour of exploding robots. He switched to a private channel.

‘Y’know, buddy?’ Groot’s posterior vines quivered to show he was listening. ‘I wouldn’t mind comin’ back here someti-‘

‘HULK SMASH TINY WIZARD!’

Rocket flipped over mid-air to watch as the top window in the tallest tower burst outwards. The big green Earther stood in the hole, holding something that had once been a tree taller than Groot’s usual height, shading his eyes and watching whatever it was he’d punted through the glass disappearing over the skyline. All around them, the capebots started dropping to the ground; Rocket guessed their control unit had been what had gone flying. He shouldered his gun and blew out a frustrated breath. He’d been enjoying himself.

The red and gold robot man flew up to the hole in the tower – Rocket vaguely remembered being told the robot man owned it – and hovered in front of the green Earther.

‘Hulk,’ he said, face-plate flipping up as he folded his arms. ‘We’ve _talked_ about smashing the tower windows.’

‘HULK BEAT DOOM,’ Hulk replied, folding his own arms and almost knocking the robot man out of the sky with the ex-tree. ‘WORTH MORE THAN PUNY WINDOW, STARK.’

‘Probably,’ Stark said in an offhand tone like he didn't mind burning a couple hundred units fixing a hundred-some floor window, then he swooped back towards the rest of his team.

‘I am Groot?’

Rocket cut his thrusters and dropped onto Groot’s offered shoulder, let Groot slide Rocket’s gun back into one of his crevices and made himself comfortable. ‘I don’t know. Who can work Earthers out? Crazy, the lot of ‘em.’

****

The Avengers spent a stupid amount of time and effort helping clean up the wreckage before the candy-coloured one let them retreat back into the busted-up tower. What was the _point_ in an organised society if you didn't let the garbage men take the garbage, Rocket muttered to himself, but he grabbed a hold of the tendril Groot offered to hoist him back up to shoulder-level and they followed Quill following the Avengers.

Even with the robot man carrying the candy-coloured one up to the top floor by flying up the outside, they had to take two trips in the elevator to get everyone up to the Avenger's headquarters on the top floor. It would've been three, but Groot managed to squinch itself down to normal humanoid size when the doors slid open.

'Huh,' the annoying purple one – Hawkeye, Rocket remembered the candy-coloured one calling him – squinted at Groot. 'Hey, can you do leaves too?'

'I am Groot,' Groot replied, letting a series of different types of leaves unfurl along the arm closest to Hawkeye. 'I am Groot?'

'Nah, like darker green and long and pointy,' Hawkeye said after a brief study of Groot's offering. Groot obligingly spread some little leaves like spines. 'Yeah! Just like that!'

'I am Groot,' Groot grinned down at Hawkeye. 'I am Groot.'

'Cool!' Hawkeye aimed a friendly punch at Groot's shoulder. 'You did pretty good out there too.'

And that was weird; Rocket hadn't ever met anyone else who could understand Groot first go around. Even after a year, Gamora and Quill only understood him half the time, and the less said about Drax's weird assumptions the better.

The elevator trip only took a minute, and when the doors slid open, Hawkeye bounded – _actually_ bounded – out and threw his arms around Robot Man and Candy Coloured Shield.

'Y'all can relax,' Hawkeye said, every bit as obnoxious as Quill at his worst. ' _I_ have sorted the tree disaster out.'

'I _am_ Groot,' Groot put in, and Hawkeye twisted to look over his shoulder, half strangling Candy Coloured Shield.

'Aw, no man! I meant the Hulk's Great American Pastiming our Christmas tree into firewood,' Hawkeye let Robot man and Candy Coloured Shield detach him from their necks. ' _You're_ no disaster. You are, in fact, my Christmas miracle!'

'Clint...' The red-headed woman sounded like she was about to knock her own – or maybe someone else's – head against a wall, but when Rocket looked, she was kinda smiling.

'I am Groot,' Groot said and cocked his head at Hawkeye.

'Over where the pile of shiny things is, please,' Hawkeye pointed at a mess of shiny packages in the far corner. There were little green spear leaves all over the place, and it looked like the Hulk's tree had been dragged over every single thing on that side of the room.

Groot strode over to his spot and settled down, unfurling extra branches and sprouting the shiny spear leaves.

'Awesome!' Hawkeye punched the air. 'We get to decorate the tree again!'

The argument that ensued was probably louder than the battle had been, and Rocket was fully prepared to rig some of the primitive wiring in the little kitchen into a bomb as a distraction to get Groot the hell away from the damn monkeys.

'-not making any more damn popcorn strings!' Robot Man yelled, as Quill bawled about respecting his team.

'Decorations you get to _eat_ , Stark,' Hawkeye said, picking something out of a bowl on the bench and flicking it lazily into Robot Man's open mouth. 'And what the hell else're we gonna use? Hulk sent those Macy's dongles across five city blocks.'

Rocket circled the two teams converging on Hawkeye, mostly yelling at him but the redhead and the giant thunder guy seemed to be engaging and distracting some of the angrier participants.

'Come on,' Rocket said when he'd made it into Groot's shade. 'We'll go out the window while they're shoutin' and find you a park to do your spore thing.'

Groot rustled as he looked down. 'I am Groot.'

Rocket blinked. 'What, _really_?'

Groot nodded, and Rocket was treated to a brief shower of sharp-smelling needle leaves.

'Argh, you damn headcase!' Rocket rolled his eyes, pulled one of his smaller energy pistols from Groot's hold and crawled back out into the open.

One shot into the ceiling directly over the two teams shut the lot of them up long enough for Rocket to explain.

'Whacko Woodyface here has decided it _wants_ you lot to play dress up,' he waved the pistol in a sort of gestural shrug because it was always hilarious seeing highly-trained heroes pretending they weren't diving out of his sights. 'But ground rules: no trimming anything, no fire, nothing Groot says no to.'

'I am Groot,' Groot whispered, faintly disapproving.

'Yeah, yeah,' Rocket hissed back. 'But one: you are whacko, B: I ain't listening when you bitch about losing branches again, and lastly: no you can't keep him. He's even more annoyin' than Quill; Gamora'd space him in a week.'

Hawkeye punched the air and stooped to pick one of the baubles up from the floor. He sent it flying across the room towards Groot, who didn't even bother to move. The little string caught on one of Groot's twigs and hung there sparkling.

'Decorating party 2.0, bitches!' Hawkeye whooped, already diving at more of the baubles.

' _Humans_ ,' Rocket muttered and went to find something high-proof.

****

Halfway through a bottle of something clear that smelled sweet and tasted like burning, Rocket found himself mellowing.

''s stupid but pretty,' he batted a paw at one of the low-hanging strings of fluffy sparkle. 'I guess the monkeys can stay.'

'I am Groot,' Groot said, shifting and spreading soft moss over a hollow for Rocket to curl up in. 'I am Groot?'

'Yeah,' Rocket took another swig and settled into the nest. 'I bet Quill'd come back. You're _really weird_ , though. Wantin' to travel ten thousand light years to play dress-up with monkeys?'

Groot just shifted to curl the nest more firmly around Rocket while the humans tried to teach Gamora and Drax some party game. Rocket grinned at the periodic yelps and crashing sounds, but Groot's moss was really comfortable, and the spiky leaves actually smelled pretty soothing.

He fell asleep to the sensation of Groot gently combing his fur and rumbling happily despite being weighed down with double Hawkeye's weight in sparkly stuff.

This winter festival thing wasn't too bad after all.


End file.
